Managing the Ridiculous; The Philosophy of Richard

I don't necessarily mean, by the Philosophy of Richard, my own practical outlook on matters. Rather, I mean my own self as the subject of philosophical inquiry. You see, I take it that everyone has their own "philosophy of ..." in the sense that I've made it out. We subject ourselves to analysis, and we have our own analysis for others. So, in my case, I could be said to have some views on the Philosophy of Chace, the Philosophy of Ryan, and the Philosophy of Adam. I am not restricted to those people, but you get the picture. So, I'm going to be somewhat ambiguous here and, until the end, not let on as to who this is the philosophy "of" in my collection of thoughts today.

I'm fairly bitter, but I'm also fairly happy in regards to where my bitterness finds its origins. This could not be more true than with my own enlightenment yesterday. Coming to find out that not only was I right (my own predictive powers are quite astounding, I possess some level of perspicuity on matters about the behavior of my friends and ex-girlfriends), but to have it confirmed that I have been fully betrayed is cathartic. I find that the further along I find myself the more I'm going to find reasons with which I can more easily part with the broken promises of the past.

It is difficult to say why what has happened, happened. I do not completely understand the motives, nor can I. I would only like to say that I harbor no hostility for this man. Chace helped me come to a specific realization, this man probably has a fairly limited perspective on what has happened here. So, because of this, I'm going to place an online record of how my relationship flowered and wilted (and whomever reads this can do what they will with the information).

Basically, the relationship seemed as though it was going well. Surely, we had our disagreements, but I wouldn't have believed they were any greater than they were with any other couple. So, time passes and with the passing of time many words are shared. I'm told that we would be moving off together when I found out where I would be attending graduate school that she even wanted to go so far as to get married, and eventually have children (you know, the stereotypical picture; which I have no problems with). While at first this made me very uneasy, I came to accept, and even believe, that this is the way things would play out. I came to believe that I was in the last relationship of my life -- that this person fulfilled me in such a way that I needed no one else.

However wrong I was, I believed it, and she continued in this charade. It was when she began working on Fort Benning that things began to look strange. She suddenly developed and vociferously expressed (often as paroxysm) her "love for our troops" and would constantly expect my own opinion on the matter. After roughly a month of working there things began to change rather rapidly. She would not spend time with me above and beyond a couple of hours on some days. Also, she would cancel plans, or 'override' plans we made during the weekend. Finally, I could no longer make plans with her period. I was not going to accept someone that I actually referred to as my "future wife" simply disappearing without a trace, so I constantly attempted to confront her. To no avail, I would find myself often wrestling with persuasion in order to be in her presence.

Things reached a sort of climax when one night I finally became angry, and found myself at her house shortly after she canceled plans yet again. We spoke, and I was persistent, but the closest I received to her acknowledgment of what was happening was the comment that she guessed she "wasn't my girlfriend." After this yes, I shared some hateful words. I never, however, approached the level of a threat, nor did I ever come close to "following" or "stalking" another individual. I would never stoop so low. I felt as though some injustice had been administered in the situation, that I was not treated fairly. So, without closure, it seemed as though I reacted (however bad this may have been) negatively and said some things that I suppose I do mean. I do believe she is what I said she was, and in terms of past relationships, she is no better than Brittni (and my friends know exactly what that means, this is not a compliment).

Ultimately, I was lied to and cheated on. That a sense of security was inveigled from me simply for the sake of self-gratification makes me sick. Knowing that she will simply repeat the mistakes she made with me, as well as with Ryan and even Bryce is why I feel bad for this man. So, in formulating a Philosophy of Anne Marie, one should begin with only one axiom. This axiom states, "The ethical is not a question, the only matter of importance is one's own self-interest, their own ability to attain self-gratification." Once this axiom is accepted, an understanding of her behavior, her every motive, becomes possible. I only wish to give a fair warning. I will likely never speak to this man, but as angry as the threat made me, I realize this probably came from a filtered and one-sided view of what was taking place. In the end, I don't want to see someone suffer from the machinations of a petty, insecure, and selfish human being. We are far better off without such people in our society.

A Beginning with which to be Reckoned.

A long time ago I started a blog on this website under the same address, and now a couple of years later I have decided it is time to restart this old hobby of mine. Blogging was once a fun venture, although it became stressful given that it was transformed into the "Richard-circle-of-friends-drama-forum". Much took place in that particular blog, and perhaps it will on this one as well. However, until such duress must be suffered, I will be writing. I have a predilection nowadays for writing overly wordy, and "pensive" blogs on my other websites, but I am hoping to do nothing on here but discuss the day's happenings, and perhaps sharing my opinions about recent events, whether they be in my personal life, or even on the news. So, there's my first post, and hopefully I will have something to write about soon!